Why Can't Grandma Be An Elder?
- Ray Reynolds
- May 12
- 7 min read
Understanding the Biblical Pattern: A Defense of Restorationist Leadership in the Church
I was blessed with two amazing grandmothers. Both helped raising me and shaping me into the man I am today (Carol Rae Green & Aletta Mae Reynolds). Both grandmothers were faithful members of the Lord's church. Both were converted by their husbands (my grandfathers) early in life. Both read their Bibles, never missed a service, and were wise beyond comprehension. Talented, loving, servant-minded, and a joy to be around. Everything you want to see in a leader. While my brother and I (as teens) were permitted into the "Men's Business Meetings" with our fathers and grandfathers, our mom and grandmothers were given no admittance. It didn't take me long to figure out that no women were allowed in those meetings. Also, no women led in worship, conducted the song leading, served on the table, led public prayer, preached, read Scripture or made announcements.
My curiosity on this subject began at an early age, but I didn't have any solid answers about the role of women in the church until I went to International Bible College. Several of our professors were willing to lead discussions on a number of issues. Many of those topics were never preached from the pulpits were I attended. I learned that what I saw as "unwritten rules" were actually church leaders practicing the New Testament pattern. It wasn't tradition, but doctrine. What else had I missed? What more did I have to learn? Much.
In our most recent sermon series, we have been deeply moved by the stories of faithful women like Mary Magdalene, Salome, the sisters at Bethany (Mary & Martha), and others. Their devotion to Jesus' ministry and their presence at the cross and the empty tomb are indispensable to the Gospel narrative. However, as we strive to follow a "restorationist" hermeneutic—a desire to strictly follow the patterns found in the New Testament—we must look at the specific roles established for public worship and church governance. Therefore, I want to share seven primary reasons for the practice of male leadership in the church:
1. The Order of Creation
"For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression." (I Timothy 2:13–14)
Theological weight must be given to the sequence of creation. Leadership roles were established with Adam being created first. The headship roles of men are not cultural, but rooted in a "creation order" (Genesis 1-3). The sequence of creation was a deliberate act by God to establish a functional hierarchy in the home (more to follow). By citing Adam’s priority in time, it can be argued that leadership is an inherent design rather than a cultural evolution. Paul’s reference to the Fall in I Timothy suggests that these roles serve as a protective boundary for the church. This "creation order" is a foundational truth that remains constant regardless of changing societal norms.
2. The Direct Command for Silence in Assembly
"Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says." (I Corinthians 14:34)
The instruction to the church at Corinth is a universal rule for formal worship services to ensure order and reverence. This instruction is interpreted as a specific guideline for the formal gathering of the saints to maintain spiritual order. The call for silence is not seen as a comment on a woman’s intelligence or worth, but on the nature of the assembly's structure. Many restorationists view this as a universal mandate intended to prevent confusion during public worship. It emphasizes a posture of submissiveness to the established Word and the order of the service.
3. The Prohibition of Teaching or Exercising Authority
"And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence." (I Timothy 2:12)
Paul not only issues commands for the New Testament church, he defines a boundary regarding the formal instruction of men or holding authority over them within the church leadership. This boundary specifically addresses roles that involve the public instruction of men and the exercise of governing power over the congregation. Limiting the roles of women in leadership has nothing to do with sexism or cultural norms for the first century. The church must adhere to the apostolic pattern established in the early centuries (Acts 2:42). The prohibition is a safeguard to ensure that leadership remains aligned with the examples set by Paul, Timothy and Titus in the churches of the New Testament. Silence in this context should be framed as a form of quiet strength and adherence to God’s designated roles, not neglect or ignorance.
4. The Selection, Example & Pattern of the 12 Apostles
"And when it was day, He called His disciples to Himself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles." (Luke 6:13)
While Jesus had many women followers who supported His ministry, when He chose the twelve individuals to hold the primary office of Apostleship (and thereby laying the foundation for the church), He chose twelve men. Although women were the first to witness the resurrection, Jesus specifically chose twelve men to serve as the foundation of the church. This choice is a definitive statement on the nature of the apostolic office and public authority. Jesus broke many cultural taboos, yet He did not deviate from this specific leadership pattern. The selection of the Twelve provides a historical precedent that modern churches seek to replicate in their own governance. Because the apostles were all men (Matthew 10:1-4, Mark 3:13-19, Luke 6:12-16) they selected seven men to serve in the ministry at Jerusalem (Acts 6:1-7). This pattern continues when they began to select future church leaders.
5. The Qualifications for Elders & Deacons
"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach..." (I Timothy 3:2)
There is no clearer standard than to view the selection of early church leaders. Consider the qualifications that must be met for elders and deacons (I Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:5-9). All of them were married men. The New Testament lists gender-specific qualifications for those who oversee the church as bishops or elders. The criteria for oversight are viewed as strict requirements (not mere suggestions) for the local church. The specific phrase "husband of one wife" is considered a clear gender-based prerequisite for the office of a bishop. These qualifications ensure that those in authority mirror the biblical model of a domestic leader. Churches that create gender-fluid roles, and alter the qualifications to include women, are changing requirements that undermine the very authority of the New Testament pattern.
6. Male Headship in the Home as a Mirror
"For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body." (Ephesians 5:23)
The Bible mirrors the structure of the church with the structure of the family. Just as Christ is the Head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife, providing a consistent pattern of leadership. The relationship between a husband and wife is seen as a living illustration of Christ’s relationship with His church. This domestic structure provides the necessary training ground for those who would lead in the house of God. When the home and the church share the same leadership structure, it creates a consistent theological environment for the family. Headship includes sacrificial responsibility, unapologetic accountability, and spiritual provision. The home and the church are both perfectly structured by God's design. He doesn't need our help adapting in to fit culture or the crowd.
7. The Call to Spiritual Submission
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)
Many people have misconceptions about the concept of submission. It is not a sign of weakness. Submission is not about a difference in value or worth, but about a functional arrangement designed by God for the harmony of the body. This reflects a commitment to the divine structure intended from the beginning. Submission is a voluntary alignment with God’s will to ensure the harmony of the body of Christ. This principle acknowledges that while men and women are equal in salvation, they fulfill different functional roles within society and the church. Honoring these roles is viewed as an act of worship and respect for the divine wisdom found in the Scriptures. Following the God-given structure brings the most glory to God. Following the pattern intended from the beginning must not be altered if we seek to please God.
Reflecting on the Pattern
While we celebrate the vital ministry and influence of women throughout the New Testament, we recognize that Jesus laid out specific patterns for governance. That pattern was commanded, practiced and defended in Scripture. By adhering to these restorationist principles, we seek to honor the divine structure intended for the church assembly. We must not add to or take away from what is already written.
Let me be clear... It is essential to understand that adhering to a restorationist pattern for leadership in no way diminishes the intrinsic value or spiritual necessity of women within the body of Christ. These scriptural principles are specifically directed toward the exercise of congregational authority and the formal positions of church governance, such as elders and deacons. Far from silencing the unique gifts of women, this framework honors their vital contributions as teachers, public speakers (ladies classes), and active participants in various ministerial and service roles that do not involve exercising authority over the men of the church or participation in the assembly.
The devotion of Mary Magdalene and Salome was foundational to the early church's testimony. The modern church relies on the indispensable wisdom and labor of women to fulfill its mission and reflect the complete image of God’s kingdom. This is also a pattern that should never change. The bottom line is that men and women have God-given, God-blessed, and God-selected roles and patterns. Ultimately, when we align our practice with the blueprint of the New Testament, we find that God’s design does not limit the potential of any believer, but rather provides the perfect structure for the entire body to flourish in its distinct and God-given strength.
As we embrace these roles with humility and grace, let us remember that in the kingdom of God, true leadership is never about power, but about the profound responsibility of stewardship. Grandma simply isn't qualified, commanded or permitted to take any authoritative role in the Lord's church. Just because it might be popular, it doesn't make it right. As the saying goes: "God does not call us to be original; He calls us to be faithful."
You are loved.
Ray Reynolds
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